


Haunted House

by Issinder



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: All Saints' Wake, Cid getting spooked, Halloween, Haunted House
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 22:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Issinder/pseuds/Issinder
Summary: It's hard to identify which was scarier: the haunted house or the inside of Cid nan Garlond's head.





	Haunted House

A few months ago, Jessie had burst into the workshop, facial features ablaze with some form of new idea.  
‘All Saints’ Wake is coming and the world is in need of spooky entertainment. The Ironworks shall provide!’  
Cid, hidden away behind a stack of highly boring paperwork, leaned around the tower of words in front of him. ‘Could you be a bit more specific, Jessie?’

She wasn’t paying him any heed however, as she went straight to where Biggs and Wedge were. ‘Boys, I’ve just had the most amazing idea and I require your input. Let’s get a nice, empty room with a chalkboard and draft us a plan, eh?’  
‘Jessie, what-’ Cid began, but the woman had already dragged his two fellow engineers out of the room, leaving Cid to his depressingly high stack. He sighed. Surely, something fun was being concocted right at that very moment, and he wasn’t there to see its conception. The Garlean had picked up a fondness for the season since he first came to Eorzea, and now the Ironworks was going to play a part in the festivities if Jessie was to be believed. Well, whatever she was planning was no doubt going to be lucrative. Good. Great. This was a splendid idea. If only he could be in on it right now. Cid shook off what surely was a childish train of thought and set to work going over the stack of papers. Perhaps, he might even finish them before the week was out. That would be a blessing, indeed.

The boys came back a few bells later, laughing and going over some sketches. Cid tried to drown out the sound of actual joy which contrasted so sharply with dry phrases on paper and half-hearted signatures.  
‘D’you think the kids will like it, love it or speak of it for years to come?’ Wedge said, a smile taking up about half of his face.  
‘I’d say all of the above at the same time,’ Biggs said, beaming.  
‘Hullo, boys.’  
The two engineers almost jumped.  
‘Er, hi chief,’ Wedge managed to say.  
‘Want to share with me what this is all about, then?’ Cid said, a slightly manic smile on his face.  
‘Well, chief, seeing as you’re so busy and all, Jessie sort of pulled us aside and gave the project to Wedge to lead so it’s really his call,’ Biggs said, rubbing the back of his neck.  
Cid blinked. ‘Splendid, Wedge. Your own project. Excellent. About bloody time if you ask me.’  
Wedge nodded, somewhat unsure of how to proceed. At last, he said: ‘We’re going be creating a haunted house for All Saints’ Wake, chief. Y’know, for the kids and whatnot. We’ll fill it up with automata covered in sheets and voidsent-looking costumes and folk will have to trek through the house and they’ll be scared and that. You know, ‘cause it’s the Wake and whatnot.’

Cid’s eyes lit up. A whole building full of fun technological doodads to scare and charm children and grownups alike. Oh, what a marvellous idea! It would give the Ironworks a nice opportunity to show off its amazing skills and it would save money on actors, which was no doubt part of Jessie’s motivation to get her own genius staff involved.Well, most of her genius staff.  
‘Let me know if you need any help,’ Cid said, deflated, as he turned around and went back to his paperwork.  
‘We’d love for you to go over our plans once we’ve properly drawn them up,’ Wedge said.  
Cid’s face lit up again as he turned around. ‘I would like that very much, Wedge. You boys carry on.’  
Taking up his position at his desk, Cid seemed a little bit happier. Perhaps this week would entail more than just paperwork. Seven hells did he hope it did.

\---

Friday came upon Cid like a light shower on a warm day as the engineer filed the last of the week’s paperwork, stretching his aching muscles into a more acceptable position. Biggs and Wedge were hard at work on the early stages of the plans for the haunted house, discussing what parts they needed.  
‘The arms need to move, of course,’ Wedge said.  
‘Absolutely, but what of the wings?’ Biggs asked.  
‘For authenticity, we’d need to find a way to make it look as if they’re flying.’  
‘But how important is authenticity in a haunted house?’  
‘I suppose that’s the wrong word. Accuracy?’  
‘Hmmm.’  
‘Would you care for my input?’

The roegadyn and lalafell nearly fell off their chairs.  
‘In the Twelve’s name, chief, could you stop sneaking up on us?’ Wedge asked in a high-pitched voice.  
‘Apologies, lads,’ Cid said. ‘I wasn’t aware my footfalls had become so dulcet. The paperwork is making me soft, I think. Now, what is all this talk of wings?’  
‘The way I see it,’ Wedge said, ‘we’re trying to create these Ahriman but we’d really like for the wings to move in a somewhat natural fashion. We’re just not sure how to do it.’  
The engineer sat down at the table with them, hand covering his mouth in a thinking pose. ‘I’m assuming you’ve already thought about the mechanism to make them fly to begin with?’  
‘We were thinking of just using a system of wires and pulleys placed throughout the house, operated from a central panel. One of us handles the controls as groups pass through the house, while our engineers keep track of where everyone is and update us so the right frights are activated at the right time.’  
Cid nodded, already envisioning it in his mind’s eye.  
‘We discussed the concept with Jessie and she gave it the okay, saying it was both cost effective and idiot-proof,’ Biggs added.  
‘She’s not wrong,’ Cid acknowledged. ‘Mayhap just having them spread out as the creature appears will be enough. To give it that swooping feel, as it were.’  
Biggs and Wedge nodded. ‘With a bit of extra speed, I’m sure that’ll work just as well,’ Biggs said.  
‘Absolutely,’ Wedge agreed.  
‘Splendid,’ Cid said, pleased with himself. ‘Any further issues?’  
The two other engineers thought a moment. ‘Well…’

After two bells of solid pondering and some additional notes and calculations, the plan was fleshed out enough to start thinking about parts and aesthetics.

\---

A few weeks later and All Saints Wake was getting dangerously close, being a mere day away. The Ironworks was a hustle and bustle of engineer limbs and thoughts and calculations and meticulous planning. The house they’d been given had been an old, dilapidated manse with a plot of land around it. A new minister wasn’t expected until after the changing of the year, so it was currently free to any enthusiastic tinkerer with a notion to create a haunted house. If one were to risk entry at this point, one would be scared mostly by the amount of wires and intricate machinery stashed in various corners. The route had been laid out and the various indoor creatures were all set up.

‘Look at those little guys,’ Wedge said. ‘All together in the treetops, ready to fall on people.’  
‘Those certainly look real,’ Biggs said, rubbing the sweat off his brow. They’d been working in and around the building for the last week now, implementing and adjusting the various automata. Cid had only helped them in passing, usually being dragged away by the ear by an irate Jessie, told to mind his own business. As a result, they felt an almost painful pressure when entering the workshop. They could feel the chief’s presence behind the paperwork, like an angry Goblin whose items had been taken away and burned.  
‘Is everything alright, chief?’ Wedge had once dared to ask.  
‘Yeees, Wedge. Eeeverythiiing is fiiine,’ had been the response, accompanied by a face that could curdle milk.  
‘Eep,’ Wedge had said, while Biggs was trying to shield his eyes from the Unspeakable Evil Lurking Behind the Stack.  
They had left the chief alone every since. It was really the only option. They blamed Jessie for this, at least in part. No man should be forced to do naught but paperwork with nothing but simple repairs he could do in his sleep to distract him. The prodigy’s mind was beginning to unravel and this was really the worst time for it to go.

\---

Finally, the day had come: All Saints Wake. The crew of the Ironworks went over their handiwork one last time. Every single button, every lever, was accounted for, every process thoroughly checked and rechecked and then checked again, just in case.

‘Can I sign off on the gently wafting yet frightening curtains?’ Wedge asked a fellow lalafell engineer.  
‘Definitely,’ the woman responded. ‘They waft and terrify in equal measure.’  
‘Terrific, that’s the last item on my list for section B.’  
Wedge put a tick mark next to it indicating its completion, and pocketed the list. ‘Now, all we need is someone to try it out on.’

Cid had lost his mind. He was yet to have this formally analysed and confirmed by a practised chirurgeon, but he knew it where it mattered as he slowly, repeatedly applied his forehead to his desk. His eyes had taken on a pained, mad look, as he saw nothing but his own signature floating in front of them, warping into something beyond recognition, space and time.  
‘Kill. Me. Please. I. Need. To. Die.’  
‘Chief!’  
‘DISTRACTION!’ Cid damned near fell out of his chair, making it to where Biggs was standing in a sort of half-stumble, half-crawl mode of locomotion.  
‘What can I do, for you, Biggs?’ Cid said, a manic smile on his face, grabbing the man’s arm.  
‘Eh,’ said Biggs. ‘We… finished the haunted house, chief. Would you care to… walk through it?’  
He regretted asking, seeing the demented look on the Garlean’s face.  
‘Oh. Oh! Yes,’ Cid said, twisting his neck this way and that, muscles popping under the strain. ‘I would like that very much, Biggs.’

Outside the haunted house, the Ironworks crew were discussing the last few points with Wedge, who took note of it all to ensure their first run would proceed as close to flawless as could be. A few of them looked over Wedge’s shoulder, and he could see their faces become pale. Some of them covered their mouths with their hands. It was a strange notion that these men and women had been working on making this particular house the fright of the town, but somehow saw all of their efforts eclipsed by the appearance of the haunted-looking, white-haired Garlean, goggles hanging around his neck, an eerie half smile plastered permanently on his face, and eyes that appeared to be witnessing the Calamity all over again.  
‘Hullo, Wedge,’ Cid beamed catastrophically.  
‘Chiiieeef,’ Wedge said. ‘Good to see you. Hasn’t the time just gone by so quickly?’  
‘No, it has not.’  
‘Right, sorry. Yes. Well,’ Wedge garbled. ‘Would you mind following the path and letting us know how you find the place?’  
‘Yes, I will.’

Cid could follow arrows. Of course he could. He remembered seeing arrows in his youth. They were pointy things that pointed you in a direction pointily. He found the first one, and pointed at it.  
‘I will start here.’  
‘Yes, chief. Excellent idea,’ Biggs said, kneeling down next to Wedge and placing a hand on the lalafell’s shoulder.  
‘Capital. Onward, ho!’  
Cid followed the arrow to the front door, then followed its compatriot in a rightward direction.  
‘Yoohoo,’ Cid said into the empty building. No return greeting came.  
‘Oh, poo,’ Cid grumbled. A sudden gust of wind hit him in the face, making him blink furiously and put on his goggles. ‘That’s quite a draft. Wedge, you should get that draft fixed.’  
Then, his eyes were pulled to the curtains in front of him, rocking gently in a breeze. Eerily, even. It was almost entrancing, the way they moved. The curtain morphed into a vision of paperwork. Something involving the first party of the second party shall not, etc. He walked closer. Perhaps if he crumpled it up in his hands, like he’d been wanting to do for so long, it would go away. A few steps more and he could.

Suddenly, an apparition came flying at him from out of the wall. Cid screamed like a little girl. The apparition floated into the ceiling above him and vanished. The curtains were now hanging still again. He leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths.  
‘Seven Hells, Cid Garlond. Pull yourself together,’ he said out loud.  
There were more arrows. Yes, he had to follow those. He needed to. To find out where they led. 

The next few rooms and scares were a pretty similar deal: Cid, still quite a lot out of it, head swimming with official bureaucratic lingo, responded with enthusiasm to every fright the team had created, which was at once satisfying and disappointing; most of the engineers had hoped they’d be getting some actual feedback at the end of the tour, but it seemed this wasn’t to be the case In fact, it was more likely the chief would die of a heart attack before the end or come out somehow more deranged than he’d gone in. Wedge began to wonder if they should put up a warning sign for the young, the old and the mentally unstable.

They heard a scream erupting from the garden, meaning Cid had reached the end of the tour. Biggs and Wedge wasted no time and ran to see what state their employer was in now. Cid was lying on the grass, staring up into the sky. Wedge leaned over him.  
‘Chief! Oi!’ he shouted, waving his hands in front of the man’s face.  
‘Hullo, Wedge. I was spooked,’ Cid said, eyes wide. ‘I was spooked a multitude of times.’  
‘Such is the Wake, chief,’ Wedge responded. ‘Anything you’d like to note, you know, for improvement?’ He wasn’t really expecting anything, but it was worth asking nonetheless.  
Cid squinted at his employee, shaking his head as if to loosen the grey mass within.  
‘I think the Ahriman could use some oil. The mechanism sounds a bit unhinged, as well. The window was a nice touch but perhaps the gust of wind could be adjusted to a slightly lower setting, the panelling on the wall near the mid-section, the one with the thunder and lighting effects, seems a bit loose. Also-’  
The list went on for quite some time. Whatever else was happening in the Garlond brainpan, the man had still spotted things worth improving, even through the fog. Wedge duly noted down all of the engineer’s advice and passed it on. The team milled back into the house and set about fixing the various kinks like bees in a hive. Cid just lay there in the grass, focusing on his breathing. Being outside was nice. The wind was turning cold and he could feel the world make ready to embrace the winter when it came. The trees were carrying their red leaves with difficulty and the bombs the guys had hung within the foliage were hard to spot until they descended upon you, which he had to compliment them for. He could feel how much time and effort had gone into this endeavour, and he was proud beyond reason of what the crew had been able to pull together. He should definitely remember to tell them later, when his heart rate had returned to normal.


End file.
